


All of Us or None

by venvima



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Engineering Squad, F/M, Gen, Multi, Non-Binary Hange Zoë
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:39:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26097997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venvima/pseuds/venvima
Summary: Lotte was seventeen when she first saw the sun. Five years after the fall of Wall Maria, Lotte wondered if years in the Survey Corps was worth the sacrifice. Countless coverups. Secret agendas. Shadow regimes. Nothing had changed since her childhood in Mitras' Underground. Yet as humanity waned, a new discovery could change the fate of everyone...if they lived to survive it.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	1. Early Days

**_Year 829, The Underground_ **

* * *

The Underground was damp and dark, filled only with artificial light and the half-hearted makings of a city. Nothing good or decent had every happened there. Smoke filled the cavern at all hours, rising from the chimneys of whore houses and pubs. In the distance abandoned buildings rose like titan hands clawing their way out of the ground.

Levi lived here all his life, tucked away into a room above The Dollhouse brothel where his mother worked or had worked. In the last few weeks, the Scarlet Fever stalked through the Underground like wolves on a hunt. Bodies piled up and burned in the main square. The normal abundance of Military Police died down as the tunnels leading above ground were cut off. Men brawled outside over bits of grain and rice. Eggs sold for six gold pieces each, and fruit—which Levi had only seen and never tasted—became a distant memory.

Even in her illness, his mother pushed her watered-down broth toward him and tucked his hair behind his ears. The gesture was so soft and sweet that the back of his throat would seize. But everything would be alright. A doctor was coming and soon his mother would be well again.

The doctor was a woman. Envious whispers passed between his mother's colleagues and made him think that a doctor was more scandalous than a whore. Every morning the doctor arrived promptly when he woke. Her face was thin and gaunt with large green eyes that reminded him of the symbols on the back of the MPs jackets. Some days she would rub the top of his head gently and pull out a thin circle of dough made of flour and water. Levi had never seen her without the mask that covered the lower half of her face, but he liked to believe that she was as pretty as his mother.

Other days, she would come with her daughter. A little girl with hair so white it stopped Levi in his tracks. In this dust, dirt filled place Levi had never seen anything like it. A color absent of the grime that blanketed every inch of the Underground. He thought of the clouds his mother told him about, of a whiteness so clear and bright it looked like the sun. When she spoke, it was in a voice high and sweet, like the notes of a song. Her name was Lotte, and her smile was full of gaps.

Her clothes were ragged bits of cloth and bunches of paper pressed into her coat protected her against the cold. Whenever her mother left the room, she would pull down her own mask. Bright red pinched her nose which leaked with every word she spoke.

Every visit she would come with some new fact that sounded like a fairytale to Levi but made her eyes gleam with excitement.

"Above ground— _sniff_ —they have— _sniff—_ these little animals the sting you and die," she would say one day.

"A moon is a big rock in the sky. It floats on top of everything."

"There's something called an ocean and it's like a puddle but big and blue and animals live in it. Like whales and something called coral."

Sometimes she would bring him things. Bread and nuts stolen from her mother's last client. Paper folded to fly around the room. Her brother's old coat that draped over Levi's body like blanket but was warmer than anything he owned.

Once in a while, she dragged him over the window and started pointing at various buildings.

"Down there," she would say, pressing her nose close to his, "that's where they die."

The Red Rose brothel had shut down since too many of the girls died, but Maria had given birth to a little boy with hair like coal. John from Kaiser House both had the fever. Levi would listen the whole time, wondering how she had memorized each of their names. A clawing, piercing dread would enter him that one day, Lotte would be telling someone else about his mother.

He'd tug and pull at her hair until she stopped, or her mother's sharp voice carried a threat through the door.

His stomach turned whenever they left. His day would fall back to the same bland waiting until the next visit. It continued for months and for a while his mother seemed better, less gaunt, less pale. Levi was so enamored by her health, that he didn't notice the doctor growing frail or how her cheeks were red with fever. Lotte stopped coming. And one night, Levi sat at his window watching as candles were lit across his neighborhood. The doctor did not come the next morning and the name he dreaded hearing was no longer just his mothers. He doesn't know what the candles are for, but they burn for three days. He waited each morning at the door, hoping to hear the soft knock, but it never came.

The doctor was dead. His mother followed. Levi buried his memories of her into his skin and when the man named Kenny took him from the small room above The Dollhouse brothel, he buried Lotte too.

It was the first lesson he learned.

In the Underground, the people who survived never looked back.

* * *

_**Year 850, Trost** _

* * *

Calm had settled in the city at night. Though, Lotte regularly made trips to Trost, she preferred the quiet of the woods these days. There were too many memories and people around for her to sleep properly. The smell of garbage and rot—food surely, despite the lingering famine in the East—reminded her of her childhood.

When Lotte was six and burrowing in the caves at the Northern end of the Underground, she had found a large spool of wire, hanging from a box with a dial. It had been small and looked like garbage to anyone else. But something in Lotte's head had clicked with understanding. With the box bunched beneath the hem of her dress, she had limped home pretending to be injured whenever an MP was nearby.

Her mother was upset when Lotte unveiled the machine. White as chalk. Bones rattling beneath her skin. "Where did you find this?"

"In the caves. Rudi told me to hide and he would look." But her brother had disappeared with his friends as soon as her back was turned. If her mother was angry at him, she would forget about the box.

"Do you know what this is?" her mother asked. Lotte shook her head. She knew there was something wrong with it. There were little gears in back, one that looked like it was loose on purpose so it would spin. A long wire coiled tight had small tears in it. She thought that if she fixed it and connected the loose one the machine would work.

"Why did you take it?"

"I didn't know what it was." She pressed her fingers together behind her back. "I can fix it, I think."

"Lotte listen to me. If you see something like this again, ignore it. Do you understand?"

"But…what is it?"

Her mother chewed on her bottom lip. "I don't know. Just promise me, you won't touch anything like this again."

Lotte said nothing. A hand gripped her jaw, tight and bruising. Wild eyes lined with fear. "Lotte, promise me."

"I promise," she lied.

How many more lies had she told her mother?

Thousands surely.

Her memories of the Underground tended to blend together. A pattern of darkness, a blur of hunger. Lotte thought it was easier to pretend to be from above-ground. Charlotte Friedman. The daughter of two farmers from the village of Ramsau, impassioned to join the Survey Corps, and good with a screwdriver and some cables.

But sometimes she remembered the little box. Months after she had found the box, Lotte had been all alone. Her mother dead, her brother barely home. All she had was her books and the little machine tucked into a loose floorboard beneath her mother's bed. It was easy to uncoil the wires and splice them back together.

The dial was a switch. With it, a faint fizz of noise emerged. Nothing logical, just grainy as if a million flies were pressed against the machine. But, then through the noise burst a single note. Music. Not a fiddle or anything Lotte had ever heard in the underground, but sharp and clear. The sound had disappeared and despite all her efforts, the machine had never turned on again.

Her mother's room had looked the same. Bare save for the poorly made bed and a pile of clothes and tools by the desk in the corner. But the world had grown.

Inside Lotte's head, a small thought stirred to life: there were people beyond the wall, and she wanted to see them.


	2. The Battle of Trost: Part I

* * *

**Trost, 12:41**

* * *

On a map, one could draw a straight line from Shiganshina to the outer gate of Trost. From there, Lotte predicted that it would take at least three hours to form a plan to close the breach and evacuate the city. For five years she spent planning and researching how to avoid another disaster. Endless nights. Countless burns. Trips to the innermost parts of Wall Maria. None of it was enough. 

The attack on Trost started just as it had in Shiganshina. A loud explosion, a cloud of burning smoke and then over the wall appeared a face devoid of skin peering down at Trost with deadened eyes. Lotte froze. Her mind whirled in a thousand directions and then slowed. Dust and gravel fell from the wall where cracks began to emerge. Nothing changed; not one thing. 

“Move,” she shouted.

The recruits turned to stone. A giant arm, red and blowing steam the way an open water-pipe did, swung over the top of the wall. Meters from where Lotte stood, a rain of stone and debris crashed over the recruits. Albert, the youngest member of her squad, clutched at her jacket with trembling hands. 

“Werner?” Lotte called. 

The tall man blinked; his cigarette pressed to his mouth. Screams reached their ears. All around them people clambered in different directions. Some were too shaken with terror to do much but kneel and bury their faces into their hands. Light squeezed through the crack and then the green pastures from beyond Wall Rose peaked through. 

No, it was too late to send anyone away, Lotte thought. 

From the hole emerged a figure. Its belly was rounded and bloating grotesquely. Its eyes were the size of a wagon. Oversized and ludicrously clumsily, this was a Titan, the first of hundreds that would flood the city. 

“Boss, tell me you’re seeing this too,” said Werner. 

Lotte did not entertain his question. “Are your tanks full?”

“Yes.”

“Albert?”

He slipped out of his fear and met her gaze. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.” 

Her eyes skimmed the new cadets. Fresh out of training. She doubted any of them would live but she had to trust in the skills they had gained. 

The ground behind them was speckled with blood and flesh. From the wall hung a limp Scout dangling from his wire-like a pendulum. For a single heartbeat, Lotte contemplated sending the cadets away. 

“Ma’am...the Wall,” a boy said. His face had taken on a green tinge. 

“I want the three best ODMG users to come with me, the rest of you line yourselves along the main road. Any Titan that makes it past the Wall, dies. Do you understand?” A silence followed. Lotte could feel all their fears festering. Already she could tell who would hesitate, who would run, who would die fighting. 

“Yes, ma’am!” 

A girl with gleaming hair and warm eyes offered her a salute. Proud and poised. Lotte hoped that she would live. 

“Good. Humanity is counting on all of you.”

Three cadets emerge from the crowd of fifty. 

Bettina Weber, slight and springy. 

Arthur Mueller, a boy nearly as tall as Werner but flexible the way a cat was. 

Sophie Krupp, who had nearly beat Lotte’s training record when it came to speed. 

Youth shone from all of them. Can they fight? Are they willing to die? 

Each of their faces was pinched with fear. Lotte knew that her words would not reassure them, but she felt obligated to try. From their vantage they could see a fire sprung between two houses by the river. Smoke rose in tendrils and black their sight of the hole in the Wall. The ground twisted and crumpled beneath cannon fire.

* * *

**Trost, 14:23**

* * *

The Second Squad, a wing of the Engineering Division, had survived the Fall of Wall Maria together. Consisting of four members, led by Captain Charlotte Friedman, they served as one of the seven decoys squads within the Survey Corps. Tasked with drawing Titans away from evacuating civilians, they used a mix of trickery and a good deal of madness to catch the Titans’ attention. Even among the Survey Corps—thought to be the most suicidal branch of the military—the Second Squad played a high stakes game of tag with the Titans. It was brave at best, but foolish. The mad plan hatched by several Garrison and Survey Corps captains consisted of drawing the Titans away from the center of the city and towards the Walls, where the cannons would greet them. Lotte designed those cannons herself under the nose of the Military Police. They took advantage of the force of recoil to automatically load ammunition. Commander Pixis, desperate to try them out, finally found the chance.

Ten paces until she was near the next Titan. She ran and jumped, falling through the air. One cable hooked into the arm of the Titan, pulling it sideways and away from the main road. How many more would she need to kill for this to be over? 

“Oi,” Werner waved wildly. “Bring him over here.”

“Sure, I’ll just ask.”  _ Jerk.  _

“Where’s Hange, our Holy Quing? They’re the Titan whisperer.”

“I wish I knew.”

Werner swung toward the Titan chasing Lotte, cutting it down with an efficiency that came from years of training. Laughing brazenly, he turned towards the next Titan, blade swinging at its ankles. Stupidly heroic or not, even Lotte couldn’t deny his skill in battle.

Bettina, Arthur, and Sophie were stationed west of the breach to bottleneck the Titans’ path into the city. Lotte hoped that by the time they started to tire out, the Special Operations Squad would arrive. If they didn’t, three cadets were sent to their deaths.

“Captain! They’ve taken the armoury,” Elise shouted. 

Her left arm was stripped of skin at her forearm. Had she been bitten? 

Lotte cut a strip from her shirt and wrapped it tight around Elise’s arm to staunch the blood. 

“I saw a group headed that way. Follow them and try to see if there’s a way to get our gas supply back. And find Ida, that idiot will get killed out here.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Elise’s eyes were dark and wide with terror. Steel lined her jaw; Elise turned and swung away. 

Lotte didn’t believe in gods, but if words and idle beliefs would keep her team safe, then she would do it. Albert followed in her steps. His breath came quickly and the ground shook as more Titans stomped through the streets. At this rate, Trost would fall. To Lotte, a symphony of gnashing teeth, screams, and the rumbling roar of chaos filled the air. Dust billowed as houses collapsed under the greedy fists of the Titans. 

A Titan fell to her blade in a spurt of blood and crashed to the ground before the hole. A withering mass of smoking bodies and rubble met them near the ground. Albert groaned and turned green. Lotte rubbed his back as he vomited. 

“Don’t focus on the dead. Clear the left flank. I’ll deal with the center. If we can limit them to one direction, it’ll make the evacuation effort easier.”

“I don’t remember it being this bad.”

“Shiganshina was worse,” she said. 

Albert's eyes lost focus as if something had upset his balance. “Albert, all you can do is fight. Think of nothing else but surviving. Do you understand?”

He nodded sharply. 

Lotte does not want to leave him or Elise or any of the others, but they would all be dead if she did nothing. 

A ten-meter. 

Behind it was a fifteen-meter Titan. They broke through a house in a cloud of dust. A string of flesh hung from the mouth of the ten-meter. In its hands was a limp body. The blood covering its hands cooled and thickened like lard. Lotte’s heart jumped to her throat. Her fingers clenched around the hilt of her blade. The first time she had used ODMG, she had nearly cried. The sharp coolness that caressed her skin, the blinding light that passed as she flew. It had been her first taste of freedom. Using ODMG was a delicate balance between strength and ingenuity. 

Lotte slipped through the gap between the two Titans. Her grapple embedded itself in the eye of the second. She pulled forward. The fifteen-meter caught sight of her with his one working eye and lunged. She fell through the gap in his hands. Groans and the slap of skin met her ears. She aimed again, swinging in an arch over the shoulder of the fifteen-meter. Her blades kissed the nape of his neck. The ten-meter encountered the same fate. 

She flourished in the thrill of battle. Gone was her hesitance and fear. Amid chaos and terror, Lotte breathed easier, moved faster. What she lived for was the rush of surviving. As a girl, she had been quiet and strange, huddled behind her brother in fear of every shadow that jumped in the dark. 

Underneath the sun, pulling down beasts twenty times her size, she felt brave the way her brother had been.  _ This, _ she wanted to say,  _ is what the people you step on can do _ . 

“Captain!”

“I’m busy,” she shouted back. 

“We need to fall back,” yelled Werner.

“Where’s Commander Pixis?” Lotte asked, sheathing her blades. Albert was doing well. Steady and unflinching, he cut down the Titans with a practice precision. But for each he killed, another three would take its place. They would lose if they kept fighting like this. 

“Ma’am?” 

A roar filled the air, deep and threaded with pain like that of a wounded animal. Lotte ducked down, avoiding the hands of another Titan and threw herself at a roof near the edge of the wall. Everything around her came to a stop. Fifteen—no twenty meters away was a Titan with his jaw clenched around the neck of another Titan. Tall, muscular, and fighting with a readiness she recognized only in humans, the Titan tore through smaller ones with ease. A pure longing to run away filled her. This was not an abnormal. Her eyes met its wide green eyes and she was surprised by the lack of hunger. It made no step toward her nor any of the other scouts on the roofs. 

“What are you?” she breathed out. 


	3. The Battle of Trost: Part II

* * *

**Trost, 14:36**

* * *

Lotte raced forward chasing the Abnormal Titan. By the time she arrived at the narrow field between the Armory and the Wall, the Abnormal was gone. In its place was a husk of smoking bones and flesh. _Too slow_ , she thought. What she would have done had she made it in time, she didn’t know. But in a habit picked up from the Underground, Lotte watched from the shadowed alley between two houses as a boy was plucked from the nape of the Titan. He was unconscious, skin steaming, but alive. 

The sight of him shocked his two companions who shouted that he had been eaten. Lotte wanted to pull them away from the battle and get all the answers. If only Hange were here, they would know what to do. Creeping forward, Lotte realized that while she might have been fascinated by the sight, others were not. Shaking limbs aimed their rifles at the boy and his two friends. An order from Captain Weilman had them surrounded. He was a tall man, imposing only in size for his deposition was akin to a daisy blowing in the wind. Lotte was sure the man was fearful of his own shadow. 

The moment the fuse was lit on the cannons, Lotte moved. An explosion of lightning lit the space where the three cadets were huddled. From the lightning and smoke emerged a muscled arm and chest, towering over the humans gathered around it. The face of the half-formed titan was missing an eye and already started to disintegrate. She does not dare to move. The shortest of three, a boy with golden hair and bright, wide eyes tripped out of the smoke. 

Armin Arlert. In Shiganshina, his grandfather sold custard-rolls sweetened with honey in a small bakery near Wall Maria’s outer gate. The other two are huddled together, but Lotte has an inkling of who they are. Mikasa Ackerman and Erin Jaeger. She recalled how the three frequently made trouble for the guards in Shiganshina. Maybe it was that memory that softened her heart. 

“Weilman,” barked Lotte. 

He froze, caught up in the fever of his fear. 

“Order your men to stand down this instance. We don’t have time to waste.”

Whispers broke through the crowd. Armin’s shoulders slumped with relief. The Scouts had arrived. Smoke rose from the massive head of the half-formed Titan. Its muscle fell to the ground in pieces, countless cracks formed in the charred bone. The sun wavered above them, bright and hot. In the distance, the huge lumbering form of titans spilled in from the breach.

“He…this trickery…The Scouts have no authority over the defense of Trost. This soldier is a threat—” 

“That’s nice Weilman, but we need the cannons and guns aimed over there.” Lotte pointed at a Titan in the middle of leveling a house. A cloud of dust followed its fists. “Arrest him and deal with it later.”

“We will counter now!” shouted Weilman. 

Two long strides. Weilman’s collar fisted between her fingers and she pulled him down to her level. Her fist pushed into his face and came back wet with droplets of blood. Weilman fell over clutching his broken nose. 

“People are dying. If you hesitate any longer, I’ll cut you down and command your troops myself. Am I understood?”

“Charlotte, causing trouble?” Calm radiated from the voice. Commander Pixis overlooked the scene with great amusement. Lotte fell back, dropping Weilman to the ground. Pixis nearly smiled.

“Stand down,” said Pixis. He looked over at Armin, whose hand was pressed to his breast, face full of conviction. Such soldiers were seldom found. Weilman struggled to his feet, unable to fully regain his dignity with a face full of blood. “You never change for a man your size, you’re as delicate as a fawn. Can’t you see how magnificent that boy’s salute is?”

Albert slipped through the crowd. Sweat pooled at his brow and slipped down his neck. His hands still shook, but the terror had eased. Fighting seemed to be the only response and now that he had stopped, his body struggled to catch up. He strode to Lotte's side, hand gripping the elbow of her sleeve. 

“Is it true that—” His voice stuttered and eyes never strayed from the cadets huddled beneath the rotting titan. “—that boy turned into a Titan?”

Lotte spoke as if in a dream. “Eren Jaeger. He’s from Shiganshina…I saw it myself.”

“What does this mean?” 

“Something terrible. Did you see the others?”

“Werner’s playing over by the Eastern District. I swear he was trying to show off.” Albert’s face twisted embarrassment. He wanted to tell Lotte that Werner had spotted him and was so distracted in his attempts to wave that a Titan had nearly caught him. 

“Charlotte, come with us,” said Pixis. He nodded toward the top of the Walls. “We don’t have time to hunt down Commander Smith.”

On the way up the Wall, Lotte’s gaze did not move from Eren’s back. A Titan-shifter. It was an impossibility. Rationally, the matter was not created or destroyed. How had a fifteen-year-old managed to create an entire body out of nothing? But--Titans bodies were all like that; they disappeared as soon as the Titan was killed. Threads of terror tightened around her chest. The Colossal Titan and the Armored Titan had both been thought of as abnormal, but in front of her was a child capable of shifting into the very beasts they fought. Her face turned grey. If Eren could turn into a Titan, then perhaps their enemy does the reverse. Who was it? When had they arrived in the city? Or had they been here all along, hiding within the civilians? 

Above them, a hawk swooped through the air and towards the forests within Wall Maria. Lotte followed Commander Pixis silently. The Colossal Titan, she realized, had always appeared behind the Walls. Only two options remained: they were either a Scout or they had come from someplace beyond the Walls. The thought rattled like a beast crawling beneath the floorboards of her mind. 

* * *

**Trost, 17:41**

* * *

Fires raged across the city where dry gunpowder caught fire in the midst of all the fighting. The houses closest to the wall were badly damaged and falling apart. Lingering Titans roamed the streets, looking for any stray humans. The aftermath of the Battle of Trost was messy. Erwin regretted not arriving sooner. 

Had he been here moments earlier, maybe he would have been able to make sense of the Titan-shifter. He had another worry: where was Charlotte? Two weeks prior to the start of their expedition, Erwin wrote to her and asked that she and her squad arrive in Trost. Months passed since their last meeting and he was curious about his old squadmate. 

Charlotte, affectionately called Lotte by most of her team, was the only living member of his original squad. On paper she was a recruit from the small town of Ramsau in Wall Sina. He had noticed the false paperwork right away, but Lotte was a good soldier. The circumstances of her citizenship were unimportant. For a decade, Erwin kept prying eyes away from her files. He sighed heavily and pulled his horse to a stop. 

“You need to take a shit or something?” Levi asked. 

“The boy? He’s in military custody now?” asked Erwin, ignoring Levi's comment. 

“Almost had to take the other two brats with him. The girl looked like she’d put up a fight.”

Erwin nodded, turning the information over in his head. Eren Jaeger would be put on trial and most likely killed. But a slim chance, an almost foolish hope, took form. If they could use him, the way they had in Trost, Eren Jaeger could change humanity. 

Levi scoffed; his brow pinched in annoyance. “Whatever nonsense you’re coming up with, don’t.” 

“Hange would be upset if we lost him.”

“And your lap-dog will throw a fit. It’s too much trouble to keep him alive.”

“Did you speak to him?”

“The kid passed out the second I got there. He’s sleeping like a drunk in the dungeon.” 

They came to a stop before the Wall. A boulder closed the gap formed by the Colossal Titan. Around it were an assembly of Scouts and Garrison members, shifting through the rubble in search of the dead. Funeral pyres amassed south of the gate and burned endlessly, fed by the high winds. The greasy smoke carried the scent of burnt flesh through the air. 

Erwin pressed his hand to his nose. Levi shook his reins and slipped off his horse. Under his breath, he muttered curses as he wade through the destruction. A head of black hair, mussed and sticking to a wide forehead, caught Erwin’s eye. Albert Brandt, the youngest member of the Second Squad. Erwin worried that he was too soft, but Charlotte was adamant on having her on her team despite his poor performance in the Training Corps. So far, her judgement had paid off. 35 assisted kills. 17 solo kills. 

“Commander Erwin.” He saluted sharply.

“Status report.”

Albert frowned. “The Special Ops, Fourth, and Second squads are dealing with the Titans. Commander Pixis tasked the new recruits with helping clear the bodies and rubble.”

There was still work to be done. Most of the refugees were settled outside the Inner Wall. Until the Titans were cleared from the city they would not be allowed back in. Albert hesitated.

“There was also the matter of the Titan-shifter, sir. Captain Levi apprehended him. The Military Police than arrested Jaeger and--”

“I already know. There’s going to be a trial once he wakes.”

“She’s not going to like that,” Albert murmured. His gaze shifted over Erwin’s shoulder. “Captain!” 

Lotte emerged from the lone house that stood. In one hand she held a slab of butter that she spread on chunks of bread and stuffed into her mouth. At the sight of him, a pleasantly surprised noise left her mouth. She casually tore off a piece, spread a thick layer of butter on it, and handed it to him. 

“Slacking off, were you?” she asked, finally having swallowed the mass of food. Anyone else would have been scolded for the belligerent tone she used. 

“We had just left for our expedition,” Erwin explained. He skimmed her form and found no injuries. “Levi told me that a recruit turned into a Titan, did you see it?”

“Yeah, Eren Jaeger. He’s from Shiganshina. His dad was that doctor that helped out during the epidemic. Grisha?”

“He was born here, then? Inside the walls?”

“Far as I know, yes.”

They walked together, inspecting the damage done to the city. All around them were the scars of battle. Ragged faces watched them as they moved. The new cadets huddled near each other, looking to see who had survived among their squads. Sometimes when Erwin looked at people like her and Levi, he became aware of all his faults. Despite all the destruction, Erwin felt nothing but a burning determination. Eren Jaeger was the key he had been searching for since his father had died. 

“You shouldn’t look so happy,” Lotte said tightly. 

“I’m not.”

“Well, fix your face.” The cold mask of stone she wore shattered slightly. “Hundreds are dead. Civilians and scouts alike. This wasn’t a victory, it was a stalemate. They’ll come again.”

“We’ll be prepared when they do.”

“Will we? Or will we just keep fighting to the last man?”

Her words were a jab at him. They did little to move him. Whatever trust she had for him had grown stale and brittle. If the choice came between saving human lives or victory, Lotte would always choose human lives. He didn’t fault her for it, but it was an ill-fitting trait for a soldier. 

“Your orders aren’t to think, Charlotte.”


	4. The Trial

* * *

**Year 844, Outskirts of Wall Maria, West of Shiganshina**

* * *

Forests were different than Levi had imagined. Greener with crisp, cool air and pockets of sunlight that streamed in when the canopy broke. Had Flagon not been here, Levi might have enjoyed himself. Two weeks above ground and they hadn’t made any progress locating Erwin’s papers. The tight leash he had on them was suffocating. 

“Keep your hands where I can see them,” Flagon barked. Isabel pulled the reins of her horse. 

“You think I’d want to steal anything from you?”

A rustle overhead. Someone had been following them since they entered the forest. 

“Shut it. I don’t trust any of you,” said Flagon.

“Well, aren’t you smart?” a voice called. Levi looked up. From the branch of a tree hung a girl. Her face was childish, her ears stuck out slightly, and her hair was a shock of white. The color of snow and clouds and milk. A color he had been in awe of once before and then buried deep.

What had happened to that little girl? Levi barely remembered her name. 

The doctor? 

Isabel’s hand tightened on the back of his jacket. She dropped from the tree, flipped mid-air, and landed on her feet. Bouncing lightly on her heels, she circled their horses. Levi could feel the heat of her gaze pass over them. Like all topworlders, there’s an inherent haughtiness to her face. Too bright. A smile full of small white teeth in a large wide mouth.

“You’re all taller than I imagined." She bent towards the ground picking up one of their fallen blades. “Erwin made it seem like he’d brought back dwarves.” With a start the white haired girl twitched upward.

“Flagon,” she barked. Flagon straightened, spine stiffening. He was like oil: thick and slimy. Often, when he looked at them, Levi had the feeling that he thought they were shitstains on his shoes. Seeing him scared of someone filled him with satisfaction. 

“Friedman, why aren’t you with Captain Smith?”

“You can call him Erwin, you know? He’s not going to eat you.” She smiled to herself as if she had told a great joke. “These are the kids?”

Levi was older than her; he was sure of it. 

“I’m not a kid,” said Isabel. 

She smiled and held out the blade. No one moved to take it. Friedman’s mouth twisted in distaste, but the blade disappeared into the sheath of her ODM gear. “So, where are you from? Elbestrasse? East End? I heard that one was dangerous.”

Shock flickered across their faces. Furlan’s teeth grind audibly at the amusement she displayed. Levi considered for a moment that she had been the one to lead Erwin to them. But she hadn’t been part of the attack…and she didn’t look like someone from the Underground. 

“Why the fuck do you want to know?”

“I read about it in a book once. Everyone is either a criminal or poor. Flagon—” she clapped him harshly on the back, “—thinks your criminals. But I’m holding out hope that Erwin had a secret love affair.”

Furlan broke first and lunged forward. Levi’s hand was seconds too slow, but then did he want to stop him? The girl laughed, falling backward as Furlan wrestled her into the ground. If Furlan wanted to land a hit, it’s too late. In the time it takes Furlan to right himself, Friedman has slipped from his grip and back into the trees. 

“Don’t worry,” she called out, grinning still, “I think you guys can do it!”

Her laughter spun around them. Wherever she was they didn't catch sight of her, but the trees rustled every so often letting them know she was still there. Waiting. Watching. 

* * *

**Five Days after the Battle of Trost, Military Police Headquarters, Trost**

* * *

A silence lulled in the courtroom, heavy and cold as the air in the dungeons that ran beneath the building. Levi cursed every decision that had brought him here. But a thrill of excitement crawled up his spine as he considered his chance to beat some of the madness out of the brat. 

“They’re late,” muttered Erwin. Hange always arrived whenever they wanted it. It was something he admired about them despite their incessantly disgusting habits regarding their hygiene. 

“Hange’s head is a leaky bucket. You should have sent someone else,” Levi said. 

“Not Hange. Friedman.”

Ahh, the snot. He remembered her distress during the Fall of Shiganshina. While the other survivors had shuffled through their grief with a sense of numbness and tears, Friedman would sit alone, muttering over her notes and tinkering with her ODM gear. Over and over she’d dismantle the equipment, sometimes with her eyes closed, as if it would change the world overnight. 

Rumors echoed through the camp that her whole team had died, her brother ravaged and eaten before her, eliciting some sort of madness in the girl. Levi knew her well enough to know that her madness had been there before Shiganshina. One afternoon, during a training session, Levi had watched her step off from a branch 50 meters high and just fall. No one had been able to move, convinced that she was trying to kill herself. At the very last moment, she’d caught herself and swung back into the trees. Her laughter had chased them all afternoon, haunting each step they took. But Levi had seen her eyes as she fell, studying all of them as if she was trying to understand how they worked. After that, she’d been snatched away to Industrial City to head the Engineering Division. 

He had the occasional pleasure of reading her long-winded reports to Erwin. She was under the impression that reports were akin to novels. Each report was pages long and included inane details about what her subordinates had for lunch or how they preferred lacing their left boot before their right one. 

As if hearing his thoughts, the doors to the courtroom opened once more, and in slipped a wraith of a woman. Glassy eyes swept over the room with an air of disappointment. Her lips twisted into a grimace as she spotted Erwin. Levi felt the slight stirrings of amusement. He recalled that Erwin had written her a letter telling her to cease her misuse of military supplies or be transferred to a Garrison unit. Her response had come on stationary directly from Mitras and she had suffered a week guarding the Wall. Each day had been punctuated with pages of reform policies that had driven Erwin to near madness. 

“Captain. Commander,” she greeted. Her salute was comical, her uniform pristine. On the outside, Friedman was the picture of a perfect soldier, but her split knuckles, hastily bandaged, and two demotions were exactly why Levi watched her with wary eyes. She rose above her title only to crash down months later. Thuggish and a brute despite her soft voice, each glance made him wonder why Erwin placed any trust in her. 

“You’re team?” Erwin asked. 

“All alive. Minor injuries. I met with the Garrison Unit this morning. The Wall-fuc—” she coughed delicately, flushing a slight pink. “Excuse me, the Pastors are putting up a fuss about reinforcing the breach.”

“Of course, they are. Zackly got your report?”

“I submitted a condensed version.”

“So, we get the shit version,” Levi said. 

“I was under the impression that thoroughness was the mark of a good soldier.”

“Pillow talk, that’s what it is.”

Friedman smiled. “I’ll attempt to do better in the future.”

Behind them, someone whispered her name, and Friedman, despite Erwin’s sharp warnings, turned and waved. A bright smile swept onto her face, elated and airy as if she’d just met an old friend in an unexpected place. 

“Captain Friedman, ma’am. I have a gift for you,” the boy called out. Laughter passed from mouth to mouth. Friedman grimaced, waving her hand forward. A book was passed up front in between the hands of cadets and veteran soldiers, some who snicker at the title as it made its way over to Friedman. _The Romance of the Rose_ was embossed on the title in thick gold calligraphy. 

“What utter shit. Think he wants to fuck you or marry you?” asked Levi. She looked at him briefly and frowned. The book was tucked beneath her arm. Friedman stared at her hands for a moment as if the book had made them dirty. 

“You’re so crass…The poor kid froze up during the battle and almost got eaten. He’s just grateful to be alive.”

“That’s boring as hell. I was hoping for a scandal. Something like Survey Corps Captain caught fuc-“

“Do you want this book?” Friedman asked, sharply. “You seem a bit bored, Levi.”

“You’re no fun. No wonder Erwin has you running around as his lapdog.”

“Commander,” Friedman stared over him, defiant. Her face was pinched as if there was a pin poking at her, but she couldn’t quite locate it. 

“Behave. Both of you,” Erwin murmured. His eyes passed over them both briefly. Friedman leaned back on the banister and glowered at the MPs across from them. A long silence followed. In it, she fidgeted, tugging at her jacket, unbuckling the straps of her ODMG harness only to set them tight enough to bruise. 

“Are you going to beat the kid up?” she asked. 

“Yeah…why? You want a turn?”

“Warn me before you do.”

Levi’s eyes cut to her. Her fingers clench around the banister, knuckles paperwhite. _Soft_ , he thought, _like dough_. 

“Fucking flower, aren’t you? Join the MPs in the next life, shithead.”

She scoffed at his words but fell silent. Commander Pixis’s story of Jaeger being an experiment fell apart during the MP’s interrogation. Rumors leaked between the new cadets and by mid-evening civilians had caught word of a Titan-shifter. In the three days since the Battle of Trost, all sorts of stories spun regarding Jaeger’s origins. One mentioned that he ate his way out of a Titan and turned into one because of it. Another said that Eren was a failed experiment to turn a Titan into a human. Hange liked that one best. 

The doors to the courtroom open once more. Levi spotted Hange’s mad grin as they shoved Eren into the room. 

Eren looked skittish and confused. He was led to the center of the room and a steel pole was placed between his handcuffs, preventing him from moving. His eyes flickered around the room, resting briefly on them before they widened. Behind Levi, the other two brats shifted. 

Darius Zackly, head of the three Military Branches, entered the room. He made a show of removing his jacket and rolling up his sleeves. Zackly sighed loudly, readjusting his glasses.

“Shall we begin?" Zackly asked. "You are Eren Jaeger, a soldier who has sworn to give his life for the people. Is that correct?”

“Yes...” 

Panic flashed across Eren’s face. A bead of sweat rolled down his face. 

“Did anyone tell him about the trial?” Friedman hissed. Levi shook his head. A low moan escaped her. “This is a military tribunal. He should have been told.”

“It’s not like he knows the laws.”

“No, but I do. I would have prepared him.” 

Zackly spoke and explained the reasoning for the trail to Eren. Though no decision had been made to kill Eren, depending on which branch of the military he ended up with it was a real possibility that he would die. 

“I’ll get right to the point. As expected, concealing your existence has proved impossible. Unless we publicly disclose your existence, in one fashion or another, we risk the outbreak of a new, non-Titan threat. It falls to me to decide which regiment should take charge of you. 

“We’ll hear from the Military Police Brigade first. The Military Police Regiment or the Scout Regiment...Now, let’s hear what the Military Police Regiment proposes.” 

Nile Dok stepped forward. Levi took a moment to bask in the tense discomfort that lingered around Erwin’s eyes. 

“I, Nile Dok, Commander of the Military Police, offer the following proposal. We believe that, after a thorough examination of Eren’s body, he should be disposed of immediately.”

Friedman scoffed, “I bet they had so much trouble coming up with that.” 

“It’s true that his Titan ability helped thwart this latest incursion. However, his existence is now stirring up rebellious ideas as well. As such, after he’s provided us with as much information as possible, he will be made a fallen warrior of humanity.” 

“There’s no need!” shouted Pastor Nick. His face took on a dark look, ill befitting of a Pastor. “He is vermin that has defiled and infiltrated the Walls built by God’s great wisdom! He should be killed!”

“Pastor Nick, silence please.” Zackly turned toward Erwin. “Next, let us hear the Scout Regiment’s idea.” 

“I, Erwin Smith, 13th Commander of the Scout Regiment, offer the following proposal. We intend to accept Eren as an official member of the Scout Regiment and utilize his Titan ability to retake Wall Maria. That is all.”

“Hmm? That’s all?”

“Yes, sir.”

“With his help, we can reclaim Wall Maria. I believe it is clear what our utmost priority should be.”

“I see...” Zackly turned his gaze to Friedman. “Captain Friedman.”

Friedman stiffened, saluting rigidly, and turned towards the man. Zackly leaned forward, his thin wire-framed glasses slip down the edge of his nose. It was an attempt to look bigger and more imposing than he was. He shuffled through his papers, slowly, pulling a neatly ordered stack. Friedman’s report. The stationary was stiff and thick, unblotted with ink stains on the back as was typical with the standard issued paper. Friedman’s fingers twist behind her back. 

“You’re well-read. Ramsau, Wall Sina?”

“Yes, sir.” Her fingers turned to bone, nails digging into her palms. 

“You were stationed in Trost?”

“No. Commander Erwin and the Special Ops squad were stationed in Trost on an expedition. My squad was to meet with Commander Erwin to discuss plans to capture two Titans for the Research Division.”

“What happened?”

“The Colossal Titan appeared behind Wall Rose. There was an initial attack, but upon knocking out our cannons, the Titan disappeared as it did in Shiganshina. I ordered my squad to concentrate on evacuating civilians and limit human casualties.”

“Where does Eren Jaeger come in?”

“It was brought to my attention that there was an altercation between Captain Weilman and several recruits. While Titans were running rampant through Trost, Captain Weilman took it upon himself to divulge valuable resources on three teenagers.” Levi bit his cheek. There was no hiding her distaste. Across from them, Weilman spat out a curse. 

“And you decided to rectify this?” Zackly asked. 

“The Captain and I are of the same rank. Our defense had been shattered and human lives were taken while Captain Weilman wasted time. Commander Pixis intervened and created a plan to close the breach using Eren Jaeger’s newfound abilities.” 

“Did you at any moment fear that Jaeger would attack?”

“No. I believed he was sincere in his intention to aid us.” 

“She’s a heretic,” someone said. A mutter went through the Pastors. 

“Friedman has repeatedly doubted the Word of Our God,” Pastor Nick spat. “Her belief means nothing.”

“With respect, your God did nothing when Wall Maria fell. I was not about to subject hundreds of thousands to their deaths in fear of a Wall,” she said. 

“The Walls are sacred, they cannot be tou-“

“If Wall Rose fell, our territory would have been reduced to two-thirds of what it currently is,” Friedman said. Her voice was colder than a winter’s night and sharp as shattered glass. “Our farming sector would be capable of feeding no more than 600,000. Within months, a famine will have started. An epidemic soon after. Wall Sina protects the nobles and the King, but when it comes to feeding your families over the refugees, you’ll never choose the Outer Walls over your own.” 

A bitter strain marred her words, but the facts ring clear in the air. Levi felt something heavy fall through him. The room shifted, uncomfortable with how close to ruin they had been. Erwin was a snake, he thought. Bringing her to speak and withstand the worst of their assault until he decided to play his hand. Where Levi was his spear, Friedman was his shield. 

“Treasonous wench,” hissed a man. Friedman’s shoulders slumped. He wished he could see the look on her face. 

“We would care for the refugees as is our duty,” said an MP. His chin folded over, hiding whatever neck he had. Pillowed like freshly baked bread and stuffed with shit. 

“You struggle to feed the people you stomp over every day. Forgive me if I find it hard to believe that your words are worth anything.”

“We protect everyone within Wall Sina,” said Nile. Friedman clenched her hands nervously behind her back. 

“As non-combatant officers-”

“You bitch,” one of the officers growled. “You think because you have-“ 

“Order!” A heavy hand fell on the desk. “This is a courtroom, Officer. Friedman, I’ll consider your report.”

“I would also like to add that had it not been for Eren Jaeger, many of the people standing in this room may not have made it. We owe him our lives. Should he be allowed to join the Scouts, he would make a strong addition.” 

“Noted.”

She slipped back behind the banister. Her posture melted away. She seemed caged now, like whatever beast had slipped out during her testimony was finally in its pen. He thought of the carpet in his office, how it was deep enough to swallow noise. Friedman was a bit like that he supposed. No longer the mad little girl who cried at night over her brother. Soft and secret, letting things sink deep inside until she could be bothered to reveal them. He had a feeling that she would be alive long after the world was gone out of sheer stubbornness. 

Friedman’s testimony left the room subdued as everyone weighed the options before them. Kill Eren and risk humanity or let him live. 

“Tell me, from where would you launch the operation to retake Wall Maria?” Zackly turned his attention to Commander Pixis. “The wall has been completely sealed in Trost District, correct?”

“Yes. I doubt its gate will ever open again.”

“We hope to depart from Calaneth District to the East. From there we would approach Shiganshina. Calaneth. Trost. Shiganshina. We would establish a new route from scratch.”

A man across the room jerked forward. He was wearing a red blazer and crisp white shirt that practically smelled of money. His belly was rounded from heavy meals. The merchants had finally awoken. For a military tribunal, they allowed far too many people into the courtroom, thought Levi. 

“Just a damn minute! Shouldn’t we be sealing all the gates now? The gates are the only part the Colossal Titan can break. If we can just reinforce them, we’ll never get attacked again.”

“How do you know that?” countered Friedman. “For all we know, it could break the wall down at any point.”

“Shut up, you merchant dog. With a Titan’s help, we can retake Wall Maria,” shouted another scout from the back. 

“We can’t put up with any more of your childish heroics!” said another merchant. They protected themselves without the care of the people that died protecting them. Levi had dealt with these pigs all his life, but his disgust has never left him. 

Friedman’s elbow hit his side as she moved forward. Erwin gripped the back of her jacket and pulled her back. Tension poured out of her and for a moment, Levi was reminded of the time Furlan and she had nearly fought. Erwin gave her a long, searching look and then let her go. Friedman straightened herself out. 

“You have a big mouth, swine,” said Levi. Friedman’s gaze flashed toward him. “What guarantee is there that the Titans will be kind enough to wait while we seal the gates? When you say ‘we’ you mean the friends you’re protecting so you can fatten yourselves up. Are you pigs blind to the people who struggle to survive off what little land is left?”

“I’m just saying that all we have to do is seal the gates if we want to live!”

“Hold your tongue, you miscreant!” shouted Pastor Nick. “You would suggest that humans meddle with Wall Rose, a gift from God? That Wall is a divine miracle that transcends human understanding!”

A rumble broke through the crowd, voices clashing with one another as the merchants and pastors argued. Time ticked by and Levi found his annoyance growing. 

Zackly slammed his hand down and all eyes turned toward him. A glare furrowed his brows.

“Order!” he commanded. “I ask that you save your sentiments for another venue.”

A hush fell over the courtroom. A wave of sheepish shame ruffled through the crowd as their tempers cooled. 

“I wish to make certain of something, Mr. Jaeger. As a soldier, can you continue to serve humanity by controlling your Titan ability?” asked Zackly.

“Yes, sir. I can!”

“Oh? But it says here in this report about the Trost battle, that just after transforming you swung your fists at Mikasa Ackermann”

Surprise lined Eren’s face. He turned sharply toward the girl. Mikasa Ackermann stood stiffly as the attention fell on her. 

“Your report?” murmured Erwin to Friedman. 

Friedman frowned. “No. That’s from the Garrison. Probably Rico’s, she was with us when it happened.”

“Is it true that Jaeger, in Titan form, attacked you?” asked Zackly. 

“Yes. It’s true,” she admitted. Her mouth twisted as if the words were sour and bitter. “However, he also saved my life on two previous occasions while in Titan form. The first time, just as I was about to fall into the hands of a Titan, he intervened and protected me. The second time, he protected Armin and me from a bombardment. I ask that you consider these facts as well.”

“Just a minute,” called Nile. “I believe that her testimony is also driven by personal feelings. It should be noted that Mikasa Ackermann lost her parents at a young age and was taken in by the Jaeger family. What’s more, our investigation into this matter led us to a most surprising discovery. Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackermann, at the age of nine, stabbed and killed three adult robber-kidnappers. Even if it was in self-defense, we cannot help but question his basic humanity. Should we place personnel and funds into his hands, not to mention the very fate of humanity?”

The crowd shifted, mutters breaking through like rats in the walls, and then someone pointed a finger at the Ackermann girl, accusing her of being a Titan-shifter as well. How quickly they gave into fear. All of them would be Titan-shit if they encountered one, but here they were ready to kill two brats. Eren shifted, visibility discomforted by the calls to dissect Mikasa. 

“Hold on,” shouted Eren. His voice was tinged with desperation. “I might be a monster, but she has nothing to do with this! Nothing at all!”

“She does if you have to protect her.”

Eren sprung forward. The metal bar holding him creaked. “No... It’s not like that. But you’re all using speculation to push your selfish agendas. None of you have even seen a Titan, so why are you so afraid? What’s the use of having power if you’re not going to fight? If you’re afraid of fighting for your lives, then help me!”

“Didn’t you two tell him to shut up?” Freidman asked. Erwin shook his head. 

“Aim,” said Nile. A rifle shook in the hands of a nameless MP. 

Freidman looked at him, her mouth forming voiceless words. Annoyed, he kicked her in the shin. Levi’s mind reeled at the sheer stupidity he was surrounded by. He hadn’t planned to relish in beating the brat, but now he looked forward to the prospect. 

“Idiots,” muttered Friedman. 

“Don’t look,” Levi muttered as he slipped past her. Friedman turned white.

Flesh met his boot and Eren jerked sideways. Blood spewed from his mouth. A tooth bounced off the floor and landed close to one of the banisters. Levi didn’t hold back. He’d learned from Kenny—it’s these memories he hated the most but were his strongest—that the weak have no place in the world. If Eren wants to live, he’ll need to prove his strength. From the corner of his eye, the Ackermann girl shifted, only a tight grip from the boy at her side stopped her from attacking. 

Eren groans beneath his heel. Levi kicked him again. Once more. One last time to get his point across. Levi’s hair has fallen into his face, hiding it from the crowd, but Eren caught the dark and fierce look in his eyes. _I can kill you_ , Levi seemed to say.

“My personal belief is that pain is the best teaching discipline. What you need now is to be taught a lesson, not given a talking-to. And you happen to me in a perfect kicking position.”

His foot fell heavy on Eren. The boy curled up to protect himself from the pain. Again, and again, the sound of his boot meeting Eren’s body, a dull thud, filled the air. He should not have enjoyed it. _Violence begets violence._ It was a phrase that Friedman often used in her reports. Often, she meant it to sum up her weekly criticism of society, but Levi thought it fit him well. He’d never really be rid of the stain of the Underground. 

He pushed Eren’s head back with his boot. A nervous tension filled the air. The Military Police were the first to break. 

“Wait, Levi!” Nile’s eyes were wide.

Levi let Eren go. “What?”

“That’s dangerous. What if he gets mad and turns into a Titan?

Levi kicked Eren once more, “Don’t be silly.” He picked the kid up by his hair and held his bloodied face for the crowd to see. “You guys are doing to dissect him, aren’t you?”

Silence. No one spoke. They’re all cowards, consumed by their fear. If a Titan broke into Wall Sina, they would be dead within the hour. 

“When he was transformed, he managed to kill twenty Titans before running out of strength. As an enemy, his intelligence makes him all the more dangerous. Even so, I could handle him just fine. But could you? Whoever dares to torment him had better think long and hard. Can you kill him?”

Erwin raised his hand, “Sir, I have a proposition.”

“What is it?” said Zackly. 

“Eren’s Titan ability includes too many uncertainties which pose an ever-present danger. As such, we will place Eren under Captain Levi’s supervision and conduct a recon mission outside the Wall.”

“With Eren accompanying you?”

“Yes, sir. Based on the result of the said mission, you can decide if Eren has control over his Titan ability and if his existence is of benefit to humankind.”

“Supervising Eren Jaeger, huh…” Zackly looked at Levi. “Can you do this?”

“Oh, I can most definitely kill him. The real problem is that there’s no middle ground,” said Levi.

“I’ve reached my decision. Eren Jaeger will fall into the Scout Regiment’s command until the completion of this mission. Should it fail, the Military Police will assume control of Eren Jaeger.”

Erwin made no visible display that this news pleased him, but next to him, Friedman sagged as if a string holding her up had been cut. Eren was theirs now, for better or worse. They could only hope that he proved to be what they hoped. If not, Levi would do what needed to be done.


	5. After the Trial

* * *

**Seven Days after the Battle of Trost, Trost**

* * *

“Captain, there are more bodies here,” called Albert. Lotte looked up, wiping the sweat from her brow. In the summer heat, the smell of rotting corpses was magnified.

“This is bullshit,” mumbled Werner.

“No different from when we were rookies,” said Elise. Her team had gathered in the aftermath of Eren’s trial to help clear some of the remaining rubble from Trost. While it was work normally left to new cadets, Lotte thought it beneficial that the people of Trost witnessed the Scouts aiding with the clean-up. It helped that it gave her time to tell them about Erwin’s plan. 

“Ugh, Captain, this one is all bubbly,” shouted Ida in disgust. Lotte stood and walked over. The body was slightly bloated, but it wasn’t the worst corpse she had seen. Albert tossed her a look: What an idiot. Ida was their resident moneybag recruit. The third daughter of some noble who felt the need to rebel against her father. Erwin saddled Lotte with the task of keeping her happy and the money flowing to the Regiment. 

“Pick him up and put him in the wagon with the others. Don’t disrespect the dead.”

Ida’s face twisted and she turned towards Werner, “You do it!” 

Lotte frowned and stared the girl down. “Ida, that was an order.”

“Like she fucking knows what that means,” Elise muttered under her breath. Albert chuckled and then turned red when everyone stared at him. He was the youngest, only 20 and still blushed like a virgin whenever a girl looked at him.

Werner turned away from everyone and lit a cigarette. The tobacco was expensive, but as Ida’s handlers, they had access to funds that most squads didn’t. He climbed on top of a pile of rubble and sat on the fallen bricks. She hoped that the people who died here spent their last few moments happy. That they sat at their kitchen table and joked about a son’s marriage or ate a hearty soup with freshly baked bread. She hoped that when death came, it came quickly. It was pointless to think things like that, but Lotte did anyway. 

“What happened?” Werner asked quietly. She took a seat next to him, stretching her legs over a fallen beam. Elise’s eyes passed to them, sharp and calculating. Whatever she told Werner, Elise would find out later. 

“Eren is falling under Captain Levi’s command...as am I.”

Werner hissed and yanked his cigarette from his mouth, “They’re disbanding our squad?”

“It’s only until the next expedition. Erwin asked that you four help Hange’s squad. He’s hoping that Eren will trust me since I was stationed in Shiganshina for so long and...if something goes wrong, it doesn’t hurt for Levi to have back-up.”

“What about our lab? We’re so close to--” he cut himself off, looking around the open road. Meters from them were a band of Military Police, laughing to themselves as they found an undamaged crate of wine. “Lotte, we need you.”

“Erwin doesn’t care. He thinks our department is only good for repairing ODMG. If it raises the Military Police’s attention, he hides it under a rug.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No, it isn’t, but we don’t have a choice.”

“We’ll wait for you to return,” said Werner. Dread entered her chest. The fire grew steadily; plumes of black smoke filled the air. It smelled of grease and fat. 

“You’ll follow Hange’s orders and keep the team in line.”

“If we have to.”

“And you’ll send me reports every other week.”

“The bare minimum.”

“I’ll miss you all.” A steady breath and then Werner’s arm was pressed against hers. The incessant tapping of Elise’s foot fell quiet. Albert groaned under his breath, the only one left still working. Werner sighed and leaned back. Stretched out, he was as long as a horse. His head would have bounced against the ceiling of her old apartment in the Underground. 

“Can I ask why?” said Werner. She contemplated what to tell him. When Werner had first joined her team, the graves of his old teammates were still freshly dug. Lotte had busied him with memorizing maps, studying the gears that made up their ODMG, learning how to track animals, and build snares. He complained only once and, startled by his own outburst, had retreated into his shell. 

“I opened my mouth at the wrong moment.”

“You should quit doing that.” A small smile lifted the corners of his mouth, warm mischief lingered in his eyes. 

She smiled back. “Now, you sound like my mother.”

In the afternoon, they left the piles of the dead and headed toward the makeshift headquarters Erwin had set up with his men. After the trial, something close to hope had cropped up in the people of Trost and though Eren was still being kept in the holding cells beneath the Court, it was his name that was being uttered across the city. 

She ate her dinner quickly and then left her team to themselves, eager to get away from the large crowd of cadets and scouts gathered in the large hall. As night fell, the city started to grow quiet, the only sound coming from the crackling fires. 

For a while, Lotte kept to the shadows, slipping between one roof to another. Her eyes hurt less in the dark. It’d been years since she noticed the strain that sunlight caused, but the ache always seemed to disappear once the sun had set. She knew, like most people who had come from the Underground, that there were certain things her body would remember.

“You’ll fall,” a voice called out. Lotte froze and wondered for a moment if she should do just that. It wasn’t that high up and she could stick the landing without much damage—but she wasn’t desperate enough to risk her life without ODMG gear.

She pulled away from the ledge and met his dead stare. “Levi.”

He raised a brow and shook his head. “You look like shit.”

“Haven’t gotten around to showering yet. A bit hard with everyone hogging all the hot water.”

“No wonder,” his mouth curled in disgust. His uniform was spotless, not a hint of dirt anywhere near him despite having helped clear the bodies just as she did. “There’s a bath in the officer’s quarters, just use that.”

“You’re awfully concerned about my bathing habits.”

Even in the dark, she could see the slight pink that covered his cheeks. 

“Don’t flatter yourself. We’re leaving in the morning; I won’t suffer having to smell you the whole way there.”

So that’s why he found her. She nodded sharply. Erwin was the type to waste time, the quicker they left, the more time they had with Eren. It was odd for Erwin not to come tell her himself. With all the damage the city took, he must have been busy. 

Levi looked at her for a long moment, his face twisted with the words he wanted to say, but instead, he turned away and lept back into the shadows. Lotte sighed and sat next to the half-collapsed chimney. It would be a long while before things were back to normal. 

* * *

**Year 844, Scout Headquarters Shiganshina**

* * *

The girl from the trees was back. This time, her smile was gone and replaced with a cool mask that made her look like one of those frilly, porcelain dolls Levi had seen in a shop window once. 

“Isabel is around your age,” said Erwin. Levi froze. Friedman’s eyes passed over them. Cold. Calculating. Weighing the worth of their lives. It lasted no longer than five seconds, but when she looked back at Erwin, it was as if she had already forgotten about them. Isabel shifted next to him. Stay still, Levi wanted to snap. 

“Hmm, maybe in a few years. She’s small and needs some training. Send them to camp, they’ll do better.”

“These are special recruits,” Erwin said. Friedman’s face twisted. She pulled at her ear until it was bright red. 

“Don’t bother then. I don’t want to know.” But her eyes were bright as a cat’s as she looked over then again. Slower this time, and curiously. Levi had made sure they were presentable. They were clean in comparison to the filth that covered the Survey Corp members. 

“I don’t want to leave,” shouted Isabel. Friedman smile. Her teeth were bright white. 

“I already said no, kid. Make sure you listen to your superiors if you want to survive.” 

“Charlotte, enough. Where are they sending you next?”

“Back to Shiganshina. We’re headed on an expedition a week from tomorrow.” Boredom laced her words. The sheer selfishness of it ate at him. Bored of freedom, of daylight. A thousand people in the Underground would take her spot, kill her if she didn’t want it. 

“Send me a report when you get back.”

“Erwin, you’re not my commanding office anymore.”

“I’m interested in your perspective. The research department found your last report enlightening.”

“Only because they’re too scared to mess around with their precious ODMG. Better to have someone else die, than try it out themselves.”

“Go tell them that,” Erwin ordered. “I’m sure they’d appreciate the honesty. 

“Ahhh, I have more important things to do. Am I dismissed?”

“See me before you set out.”

“Yes, sir.” She saluted half-heartedly. Erwin’s eyes followed her as she left. Silence fell over the room. The scent of blood and dirt lessened, and Levi found that he could breathe easier. Erwin hadn’t brought her here on a whim. Each action the man took was weighted, turned over a thousand times before he decided on which path to embark. Was this another obstacle? Or was Friedman simply another soldier?

“Who is she?” Levi asked. 

“Captain Friedman. One of our brightest recruits. If you’re lucky, one of you might end up on her team.”

“We’re not separating.”

“Not right now and not soon. But, one day you might need her to watch your back. It’ll be easier if she likes you.”

* * *

**Eight Days after the Battle of Trost, Outskirts of Trost**

* * *

Her horse was slight, but well-muscled and fast. It nudged against her back as he approached, giddy with the need to run. Between her hands is a mound of soft dough, pillowed with iced-sugar and nuts. What it must cost, Levi thought. He’d tasted sugar only thrice in his life, each time marred by the choking etiquette of nobles and Erwin’s ever-watching eyes. His mouth turned to smoke. He’s left with the startling reminder that Friedman lived in a world far from his own, despite their shared fight. 

He unmounted from his horse, pulling his gloves off, one finger at a time. Friedman was quiet, swaying slightly as she watched the distance for some unknown horror. Her fingers were coated in a thin sheen of icing.

“If you touch anything of mine with your dirty hands, I’ll throw you off the wall,” he said. 

“Do you want some?” The pastry was thrust beneath his nose, the smell of roasted notes and something sweet and hot filled his nose. Cinnamon. 

His heart stuttered in rapid confusion, wondering why she would spend so much money on a single sweet, why she offered him some, and what sugar would taste like between sips of bitter tea.

“Levi?”

“Eat your shit yourself, Friedman. I’m not a fucking pig,” he said. Her hand pulled away immediately, snatched from away from the fire of his words. Silence followed. Her horse knickered and whined, pushing her forward. The pastry disappeared, wrapped in waxed paper, and stuffed into her saddle bag. 

A yellow square of silk wound around her fingers, clearing away the sugar crusted near her nails. A tiny bee was embroidered at one end flying in an endless loop around a pale pink tulip. Pretty and frivolous and well kept. Friedman blurred the lines of soldier and civilian. Part of him resented her for it, but she was competent and well-mannered. She never seemed to stumble as she moved forward and always looked as if she knew exactly where she was going. 

“Erwin wants you to help with the brat?”

“ODMG training and academics. Apparently, Eren wasn’t the best student in the corps.”

“Tch.” He looked over the hill. The grass shone, dew lighting like diamonds as the sun started to rise. 

“It’s been a while since I had to deal with new recruits,” she said. Friedman muttered softly under her breath about how she hoped he knew how to tie his harness. 

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “They’re the same as anyone else. Just hit them if they don’t listen.”

“Words of wisdom from Humanity’s Greatest Soldier.”

“Don’t start.”

“Aww come on, Levi. You used to be more fun.”

“It was never fun. You were just insane. I hoped it tempered down with age, but...” He looked at her as if she was a pile of shit, he’d stepped in. Friedman didn’t seem to mind. Her smile grew and stretched, revealing a slight dimple in her left cheek. 

“I forgot you were already middle-aged when you joined the Scouts. How does it feel being an old man among all of us?”

“Erwin is older than me.” His voice was laced with thin annoyance. 

“And barely looks a day over 30. You, on the other hand, need to take those teabags you love so much and put them under your eyes. You have circles darker than my secrets.”

“Fuck off,” he sniped. He had to wonder if she really wasted tea on things like that. Ramsau was a small town near Ehrmich in Wall Sina, not incredibly wealthy but, never suffering the same kind of hunger some villages in the outer districts did. Levi imagined she was probably a bright child, eager and just a little rowdy. 

“Is Hange coming with us? Moblit said they caught two Titans in Trost, but I figured they’d want to get some samples from Eren.”

Levi stared at her for a moment and then said, “They’ll stop by in a day or two.”

“Good. I missed Hange...it was so lonely—”

She stopped speaking abruptly, standing straight and stiff as the rest of his team approached. Petra led the team, blocking their view of Eren, who had been fitted into a Scout’s uniform. Her face brightened when she spotted Levi and then again at the sight of Friedman. 

Slipping from her horse as she came to a stop in front of them, Petra saluted eagerly. Eren too dismounted from his horse, a nervous tremor wracking his entire body as he stepped into Levi’s view. _Good_ , thought Levi, _he’s not a whole idiot._

“Captain Friedman, ma’am.” Eren stood and saluted. Her eyes looked strange: tight and intense as she stared up the brim of her nose. She smiled and Levi was reminded of the smile his mother would offer her clients. 

“Just Lotte is fine. You’re not under my command.”

“Ma’am…I’m from Shiganshina as well. I want-“

“Ahh, horrible, wasn’t it? Did your family make it out?” A stillness entered the air. Her horse breathed out harshly. Friedman looked out toward the hills, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze. Shiganshina followed her around like a storm cloud on the edge of the horizon.

“My mother and father died.”

“I’m sorry,” she turned, pressed a hand to Eren’s shoulder, and squeezed tightly. “You’re very brave to willingly join the Survey Corps after such a thing.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Eren wanted to say more. It was strewn across his face, a hunger as if Friedman held the answers to his questions, but she moved away quick as a bird and Petra took over. What would he do if someone asked him about Isabel and Farlan?

Further down the road, Eren started coming out of his shell, asking Petra and Oluo questions eagerly. Friedman’s earlier levity all but left her the further away from Trost they got, and she did not speak at all until they were at headquarters, but every so often she would look at Eren as if trapped in a dream. Erwin had hoped that Friedman and Eren would grow close, making the boy easier to manipulate, but he had forgotten that Friedman had survived Shiganshina on the back of her brother’s death. If anything Eren was a nightmare she did not want to remember. 

  
  



End file.
